Hi. 

Remember me? I used to post here sometimes. Granted, the last time I updated my index page was June 12, 2003.

Until today.

Some former readers were kind enough to send me emails to wish me well, ask how I am, thank me for being so foolish and so self-absorbed as to write about the trivialities of my unimportant life, and to wonder if I'm still alive. 

I guess it was rather rude of me to stop updating just when the story reached its climax. Television has taught us to live in a 'to be continued' world, leaving us on the edge of our seats to make sure we tune in again next week. We all want to know what happens next. 

But next week has turned into next year.

I stopped updating after I dropped out of school, which was about a month before graduation. My health deteriorated a lot. Not surprisingly I fell into a deep depression. My six-year relationship died a slow and painful death. Like any textbook case, I looked for all the wrong escape routes and nearly killed myself in the process. 

I stopped eating and I lost about 20% of my body weight in a few months. I hardly ever slept. I'd stay up playing online role playing games and talking on irc. I was so tired all the time that it was all I felt capable of doing. 

Soon the last of my savings dried up. My scholarship was revoked, my student loans ran out, and I couldn't find a job (yes, I looked).

I had to leave my beloved apartment on the beach. 

I miss the sound of the ocean so much.

So, I ran. Literally. I packed my bags and skipped the country. 

Fortunately for me, in my desperate attempts to find myself I found someone to help me. The right person came along at the right time to prevent me from completely destroying myself. Hell, I was halfway there. It wouldn't be hard to finish the job. 

I thought I had been in love in the past, but I was wrong. 

Mom likes to quote clichés a lot. 'Life works in mysterious ways.' 'Everything happens for a reason.'

Maybe.

So where am I now?

I went back to school in January. It was very difficult to go back, but I finished both my degrees and did exceptionally well academically. I found a new part-time job. I've gained some weight back. I can get the required amount of sleep now without having to sedate myself first. I've even been to therapy -- even though I said "there is no fucking way you can get me to go to that bullshit" a lot more than once in my life. I'm hopelessly, foolishly, irrationally in love and I'm enjoying every moment of it.

So, in answer to your questions, I'm doing fine.

Just fine.

- V